This is The Masters Page

This is The Masters Page

The Master (Tony Rogers) will blog here. Tips, tournament reviews, friendly betting and financial advice here. Keep coming back for more wisdom.

Quote # 1 Thank you Mr B, I will indeed take you up on your offer and share my very own intellectual brand of verbal surgical incision with the Welwyn Front protagonists. Odds will be made available in the week of each tournament for the Thursday main event and ante post on the team event and outright winner. You must make the patrons aware that i have had a very bad experience with a punter here at liabilities who i am in the process of having disembowelled by my Turkish mates from North London in the car park one night to be arranged and any future disregard for the integrity of my business will be dealt with severely by my Somalian brothers in Enfield. It will be a pleasure to entertain you in the coming months and i will enjoy singling out victims for systematic abuse on a random basis although Jacko and cash specialist Steve seem compulsory targets initially.Thank you again and look forward to liaising with you on this journalistic project... The Master

Quote #2 Betting: Welwyn Front season 2 Ante Post 2/1 The Master 10/3 Walkden 5/1 Southam 6/1 O Donnell 13/2 Kilbane 9/1 McEleney 10/1 Harris 14/1 Brogan Rose 16/1 Dodge 20/1 Meagher Scully Berkeley 28/1 Graves Trimnell 40/1 Buzzing Whichlow Willis 50/1 Oli Lee Hazell 66/1 Matthews Clark 500/1 Cash Specialist Steve 1000/1 Jacko each way 1/4 odds 123 ...............Team Event Season 2 9/4 Team2 11/4Team4 7/2 Team5 11/2 Team1 13/2Team3 7/1Team6 All bets settled at end of season.

Quote #3 "on Liabilities site" Beep...Beep This is a British Telecom announcement....Beep....Beep testing this site for activity....conducting sweep of site to attempt to identify usage Beep....Beep....Beep.........NEGATIVE i repeat NEGATIVE implementing recent historical usage Beep .....Beep ....Beep.....Beep.....significant life form detected pontificating over on line poker.......Beep ....Beep recommend content deleted as threat to entertainment value................/-/ Updating scanning........................completed...../....no virus detected, just inane dross..harmless to system......test completed 98/99/100% Prognosis....site is in danger of imploding through non/poor activity levels. BT recommend that site be thrown in the recycle bin before it is responsible for inducing a coma on one of its members Synopsis...eliminate drivel.....delete Pike Melton Matthews from blogging....showcase The Master Connickie Berkeley....Beep... Beep......REPORT COMPLETE&^*&^&^^&*&^**^^*.......................................................

Quote #4 Mark , ive noted last weeks result and changes to the ante post market for the season are as follows The Master is out to 5/2 after his brush with the law, Walkden is now into 11/4, then its 6/1 Harris who on last seasons form is the dark horse 7/1 O Donnell and Southam 8/1 Kilbane who i believe will implode shortly 14/1 Stuart after last weeks win and my protege Tom into 33s , the cash specialist Steve has drifted to 2000/1 after another worthless performance and Jacko is now 25000/1 after running up to his true mark last week Others on request and the team event remains unchanged

Quote #5 Event 5 11/8 The Master 5/1 Harris 11/2 Walkden 7 Southam 8 O Donnell 10 Rose 12 Graves Dodge Mceleney 14 Brogan Scully Berkeley Yiangou 18 Kilbane Whichlow 20 Trimnell 25 Meagher 33 Buzzing Clark Willis SPECIAL BETS £100 to a tube of smarties Cash Specialist Steve £100 to a dirty toe nail Jacko....punters wishing to have a special bet must produce the smarties or a dirty toe nail before the off each way 1/4 odds 1234

Quote #6 May i be next in line to congratulate Mr M. If i am not mistaken Mr M has at his last 3 events had a win at Liabilities and a final table and a win at Welwyn. I would like to point out for the record that i was not there to stop this juggernaut run of form excepting the Liabilities win where Mr M took me down in a race probably preventing me from winning on the final table. All that said , credit where its due Mr M and i am grateful your disgraceful unethical behaviour regarding our gentlemanly arrangements enabled me to avoid laying any bets on your person on these events saving me severe financial distress.

Quote # 7 Passage from the good book.....The Master Chapter 12 verse 7 Paragragh 5 It came to pass that the intellectual wasteland that was Liabilities forum went quiet for four whole days , not troubled by the verse of the likes of Big M and Liability Dave, not soiled by the Nottingham Nonce and not cast in shadow under Swailes heavy entourage, but best of all said thee, no new league tables printed, thus not encouraging the talentless burglars who shall be named as Starbuck and Yiangou to revel in their loftiness looking down upon more gifted souls (to this point the text must be read in a raising voice, american gospel style)(and to fade)another day passing and the spectre that is the league table causes much falsehood and debacle................I must admit I think ive actually gone completely fkn mad

Quote #8 Breaking news.....The Master has taken down Welwyn Front tournament 7 disembowelling the 26 runner field for his 2nd win of the season from 4 attempts and is now 26 from 4 this season and averaging 5.5 overall from 10 events in seasons 1 and 2 Highlight of the evening was the equivalent of a martial arts swivel kick taking down the 3 short stacks on the final table simultaneously with AK against AQ A9 and 66, the only resistance came from Jason in the heads up who was a worthy opponent. Dodge went like a lamb to the slaughter in 3rd. Thank you to Mr B and Mr K for providing the showcase for my talent and The Master will no doubt further his iconic reputation at Liabilities next week

Quote (lots) Another interesting extract from the good book....The Master chapter11 verse9 paragragh 5 And my LORDETH said to Munns "you will have good fortune and dismay your competitors, but this luck must break and leave you stranded with your limited game but fear not for it is Matthews who carries the biggest weight and he to must also be blighted with poor game so having the biggest handicap of all" (in ascending voice) "but do not fear thy sujects for a man in the image of the son of God lurks among us, disguised in glasses and ridiculous hats and he will replenish thou and he will be aided by three good men who are known as Pike the poor, Lance the devine and Melton the mundane and this man will be known as FISH and this group will make available fortnightly the platform for your ridiculous gameplay and so it came to pass"

This good books fantastic reading thought this one was a bit Nostradamussy The Master chapter 12 verse 11 paragragh 6. In the sixth month of the year of our lord 2010 the ante christ will descend upon liabilities from the direction of middle England, he will become acceptable to the patrons of such event as he is disguised in a blue matalan shirt and has styled his hair so as to conform with a man in mid life crisis. beware, he will leave with the treasure available , the beast can only be fed with profit and whilst this dangerous entity moves freely among the crowd a second danger is imminent a 100lbs carcass whose face is full of spectacles and crown of head is immersed under a dead rat. This apparition is known as Immins and should be avoided as the tedium he exudes will dilute your will to live and so it will pass.....

This holy book has really got some interesting stuff in it The Master Chapter 16 Verse 12 Paragraph 4 The LORD said unto Michaelides Willisford "you will win a tournament one day, but it will not be expected, your cards will not be suitable , but you must be guided by my hand and with your faith and belief in the divine truth your queen high call to an all in raise will be successful and fear not the hecklers in the crowd for they are predominately shite" and a bit further on a more general theme "beware the first session of thy tournament for it is fraught with danger, it is plagued with random bravado and idiotic movement , you must fear the only distraction which will be Pike vacating his chair and screaming like a banshee and fear Count Dodge for if the moon is full thou may encounter an incision by pre molar, go forward in this session and tread carefully for there is much to lose and should you fall, head for the watering hole to avoid having to watch the debacle which is left unless of course you are indeed one of the many who know not what you do, there is a place for thee, you may look and study or foresake yourself to waitering duties for the remaining peers..........

Here endeth the epistle for now

Quote following Arthurs Table

« Reply #34 on: August 02, 2010, 02:55:27 PM »

Season 2 Event 9 The conclusion of season 2 beckons and 31 runners went to post for The Masters treble bid. The early action was furious and as usual Cash Specialist Steve and Jacko ran to form and vacated the tourney Then the ground shook as Matthews departed early,which was great news as there was more food to go round. Not long after Dodge skulked off after being out drawn by newbie Alison from Luton who was a clear early leader at this point. The Master fell inexipicably after being ganged up on and even then it took a river gut shot to end the dream. The final table was an interesting affair with the notable re appearance of Walkden to the stage and a further appearance of serial final tabler Bill but to the final four and we had the remake of Cocoon, rumour has it an ambulance loaded with oxygen masks were on standby from the QE2 over the road as there was a reasonable chance that the four competitors with an average age of 79 may need some form of medication or recussitation before the event concluded based on mortality rates . Del hit the road in 4th and Charlie was taken out by Arthur soon after , Arthur prevailed over Paul M in what i am told was a titanic struggle (trying to big it up, wasnt actually there) and so as the season nears its end 2nd place is up for grabs with Jason and Andy W fighting it out with Paul M and Bill B the most likely challengers. An interesting evening all round not least Alison blowing all her chips in time to miss the final table and the bloke sitting opposite me who told me i didnt know what i was doing ! does he not know who i am ? Great stuff anyway and welcome back Mr B and thank you for hosting the event with your sidekick "Terry very cheap imported fags Kilbane" All thats left to do is quote the good book "season two at Welwyn will be graced by a God and he will displace Michaelides Willisford as the victor of all around him, but there will be mortals who snap at his feet, there will be Walkdenodes and Bill Beaumontus who dare to dream, but they will be slung to the abyss of losers that gather in the place that has been named Jackos Pit "

Quote taken from Liabilities Poker forum:
Welwyn Front Season 2 Event 10 "The day the world went mad" Unlikely scenes at Welwyn last night as the final five survivors included the worst two players ever to frequent the felt . Cash specialist Steve finishing in 5th place and on discovery of his reward of 30 pounds invited our leader Mr Mark Berkeley to shove the prize up his arse, Steve obviously not familiar with the prize structure having never won a prize of any sort since finishing runner up in a live cow eating contest in Bangladesh last year (Incidentally the winner was an African elephant) Then to Jacko, rising to second place , no doubt helped by his life coach Warren King who sat on his shoulder for the last hour, there was distinct concern for Jackos health at this point as he appeared fazed and nauseous in these very unfamiliar surroundings. In the middle we lost Mark who had his QQ overtaken by Dels AK and Del then fell to Jacko whose J9 was too lucky for his A7. To cap this bizarre evening the title went to the curiosly named Junior Albert Taxi Rank who turned up late but still got paid, quite indicitive of his name. Also worth mentioning the return of Paul runner up four weeks ago at his first attempt and nice to see he had finally sobered up from then, yesterday afternoon apparently. The evenings events are perhaps summed up best by the good book and i quote "fear not if thy is absolutely shite, for is a day for thee and it will be a Thursday in August and you will play on the red felt, but beware your limited ability can only carry thou as high as second or fifth because to win would be too ludicrous for words and for those others who perished on this evening of wonderment , fear not because the real race for the seasons title will resume in event 11 when the rubbish which intoxicated the final table in event 10 would have cleared and battle can commence"

And his Masters voice from 19th August:
Tonight we witnessed the ultimate , in terms of joy David Pike was on the brink of being decacapited by Lee D and for admiration we saw Fish ride out the triple threat of the Baldy Boys. Fish has recorded his 9th victory and i stand aside complimenting what now is his obvious ability.The Master must confirm that he and his son after being eliminated in bubble and sub bubble have spent the night in an alcoholic haze reminiscing as what might have been, but to the final table and picking up the top 5 , a great performance by Richard Leggett who succumbed in 5th followed by Cliff James who undoubtedly now must command respect after his 6th final table in 8 starts.Next to go David Kipps who is returning to his best form leaving the mercurios Carlioni heads up with Fish, no awards here, a crap shoot, that Fish saw through, but credit where its due , Fish never put a foot wrong and was a worthy winner but it was great to see The Don back where he belongs . Special mention for Lance as he is so nice and Berkeley for being the best turned out and congratulations to D Pike for avoiding the Moth.. and a Fuc.... of a beating he was heading for
from the wrath of Lee D but hey who cares nice night, nice company and Fish rules .....for now

Quote from Liabilities forum 27th August:
Welwyn Front season 2 tourney 11 "The good lord doth decreeth that a light will shine for one night only in the halls of the oldeth town of Welwyn and an event will witness the victory of a talentless participant whose victory will bring joy and disbelief to the adoring crowd, but he shall just not win , he will defeat The Master heads up to confirm the most unlikely victory in poker history, he will be named cash specialist Steve and this glory will be added to his curriculum vitae to compliment his awards for buggery against young animals. hear thee , it will not be enough to summarise this achievement by arriving at the finale for the path will be laid with destruction and the event will begin with the arrival of a man who walks in the image of God and he will journey from Ware and be eliminated by Matthewsmass who hails from the nearby villages of Hertford Bayford and Brickendon when upright, O Donnellides will mistime a step and lose his wealth automatically, Beaumontus and Walkenodes dreams of a title will implode and Kilbanedotenundus will turn a chip into a prize potato but fall later at the table of the elite and there will be mysticism as to Junior Alberts periodic dissapearances during the evening and one will only ponder the need for hand shandy scenarios, for their will be no other logical explanation for these chasms in time , there will be awareness of Southam who will make a rare appearance but it will be inconsequential and this evening of euphoria will only conclude when Mceleneyosophagus is finally vanquished and Archimedes Buzzing and Count Dodge dare to challenge the cash specialist and fall at his size thirteens, glory will be to the alias that is Steve Lee and he will enjoy the adulation of his peers because he knows it cannot happen again to after Halleys Comet re appears" An event like this has to be documented for historical purpose so it is necessary to insert a codicil chapter in the good book "man will be made in the image of God , but all men will not be equal, there will be postmen, bus drivers and plasterers and from time to time they must be empowered by the Lords hand to drink from the cup of divinity for their sacrifice, so embrace their success for it is all they have and blasphemous words will strike thee down if they are begrudging towards the limited success these infidels will achieve"